LETTING GO

Last Monday, I would say, was one of the saddest moments in my life as a mother. “When I sent my eldest daughter, Nadhrah off for her foundation course in Shah Alam,  I found myself overwhelmed by an incredible feeling of melancholy. I was sad down to my bones.”  

I took these lines (make a few changes) by Randye Hoder in Motherlode at http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com who wrote about “Struggling to Let Go of  My  College-Student Daughter.”  

Hoder  wrote , “ Regardless of how often she comes home, or how many times a day we chat or text, Emma is now gone in a far grander sense. She is well on the road to adulthood, and from this, she will never return.I know full well, of course, that this is completely normal. And I take pride and joy in seeing Emma make her way so confidently and capably. She is, after all, doing exactly what she is supposed to do. She’s going to be just fine. I know, too, that we will always remain close.Nonetheless, Emma’s going to college has signaled the passing of something that I cherished — her childhood and my relationship to her as a child — and I can’t help being a little sad about that. ”

What Hoder wrote  matched my feelings perfectly. This is exactly what I am going through right now.  It’s quite comforting to know that I am not alone “struggling with this transition”.  

Nevertheless, I have great faith that my Nadhrah  will make it through. For Allah swt will not lay on us a burden greater than the strength we have, to bear. In Shaa Allah. 

 

COLOURS OF KMPh

My first meeting with these two students was more of a coincidence. The time was 5 pm. I was all ready to go home. It was just a matter of  pushing in my chair and putting everything back into places. That was when I heard voices behind me saying, “Teacher, are you going home ?” I turned around and said, “ Yes dear, it's already 6 .” Then, I noticed the worried look on their faces. I toned down and asked, gently this time, “ Yes, how can I help you ?” That was like giving them green lights! They went on and on telling me about their problems. To cut it short, I said yes, I would help them and the next hour was spent on  providing solutions to their problems. Since that day, we became close “friends” as they would often come for consultation. 

Well, like in any other colleges, other than teaching, the lecturers are also involved in the activities organized by the college. Therefore, you should always prepare yourself for  unexpected tasks! “Lucky me”, I was appointed as the coordinator of the Musical Sketch Competition and in charged  of preparing the students to represent the college at the Division Level! To make it worse, it was the first time the Division  held such a competition! Mummy Help! At this age, creativity seemed like an obsolete word! I desperately needed help! So, I asked for the help from another three colleagues; Ize, Nana and Ling Ling. Together we stayed with the students and  made improvisations where necessary.

Now, let’s talk about the actors. My  my, guess who was in the list. One of them was the Indian student,  who was seeking for help the other day! Talking about what goes around comes around!It was me who needed help this time ! With him were 4 other students who really added  colours to the whole scene! These students were no ‘ordinary’ people on stage. They did not only have the right attitude  but each possessed the traits of a good actor. They were very determined and talented, had lots of patience and loved challenges as well ! In other words, they could be described as true professional pretenders in their own way ! 

The competition was held from 1 March to 3 March at Glory Beach resort in Port Dickson, Negri Sembilan. On the day of the competition, only one word could describe these students, Nervous ! Actually to tell you the truth I was nervous too ! These were the last few words said to them before they went into the auditorium, quoting Nana, “ Ok, this is d Day. This is the time to show them what you got. So, don’t try your best BUT Do Your Best !

Later that day, I was informed of the results. Alhamdulillah, we were second out of fifteen colleges ! However, I did not share the good news with the students as it was supposed to be announced officially the next day. They did ask about the results and  I had a very hard time pretending not to know. Phew ! Before going to sleep that night, I sent them the following message :

Hi there! REMEMBER 2 get a good night sleep 2night. Do not worry about 2morrow as everything happens for a reason. 2 win or 2 lose, that’s not the question. 2 me, all of you are still number one !

Seenu, you are one in a million !

Rebecca, you’re awesome !

Cynthia, you’re full of surprises !

Tung, you are electrifying And

Kai Shi, I will always REMEMBERH you !

Thank you so much 2 all of you from the bottom of my   Heart ! 
Love, Mdm Anis.
 

Little did they know that I was actually trying to give them hints about the placing! The next day when they were announced as the second place winners, bundles of joy were written all over their faces! Only then, the message became clear ! Gothca ! Now, who is the best pretender among them ? Ha! Ha ! Congratulations Seenu, Becca, Cynthia, Tung and Kai Shi ! It was  a great pleasure working with all of you! All of  You Are Indeed Beautiful Colours Of KMPh ! 

KAMPUNG MEMORIES

       This is another childhood memory which I would never forget. Years back, when I was still very young, my parents often took us back to our village in Temerloh. It was a time to look forward to because kampung life was always full of excitement. At the kampung, we would put up at our grandmother's house, usually for a few days. You should see the house! It was a large and long wooden house with  no electricity supply. Hmmm.. Now you can imagine how things were at night. The house was lit by only a few pelita and we had to carry them with us around the house. Therefore, certain parts of the house were kept in the dark when we shifted from one part of the house to another. 

God, I remember sleeping alone in a room, totally in the dark! My mom took out the pelita thinking that I was already fast asleep! I was too scared to move an inch and kept to just one position! I recited all the duas that I knew until I finally fell asleep. I also remember how we would gather in the living hall and mom would relate some stories about the house. One which I could never forget was about the visit by an uninvited guest. She came late in the night , landed herself on the roof and let out eerie laughs. Then, she flew around the house and scratched the walls loudly....eee scary....Not just that, sometimes the roar of a tiger could be heard since the house was near to  a jungle.

       Another interesting thing about my grandmother's house was the toilet. It was neither inside nor near the house. Aaaa....You had to do your 'business' at this one spot in a rubber estate next to her house. Ha Ha! No walls, no water supply; just you and rows of rubber trees! It was like enjoying nature while business was being done! To clean up yourself, you had to walk back to the house which was actually a few metres away! Eee, I remember walking like a monkey back to the house! What an experience! Ha! Ha! I was lucky because there were no naughty eyes around. However, lack of facilities was never a reason to stop us from balik kampung. There were so many other fun and interesting things to do than to worry about it. For example running up and down the doorsteps like almost thousands of times, swimming in the river, climbing up trees, picking fruits like rambutan, duku, langsat and manggis fresh from the trees, taking evening strolls in the rubber estates, chasing after chickens and ducks around the house and also listening to the jungle sounds at night. How I miss those days...

        Years passed and we seldom go back except for special occasions. Ever since grandma passed away, things have never been the same again. My grandmother's house has been rented out and we do not visit the place anymore. What 's left  now are just memories.

NIYAH

The ' Pakcik ' skillfully cut the chicken meat into two. He was about to cut it into smaller parts when he suddenly stopped and looked at the chicken for quite sometime. Then, he stood up, went to his "Kancil" and took another bird which looked healthier in appearance and colour but smaller in size. That really fed on my curiosity so I bluntly asked,

" Why change?" 

 " Change lah cikgu, this one  is not fresh anymore."

Well, actually the one that had been cut up was still ok to me, but the man insisted to sell a fresher bird. Now, that is one good example of  a man with a good heart; doing business not just for the sake of gaining profits but with the right niyah. A true Muslem. 
The man is actually an imam at a nearby mosque. He earns his living by going round the neighbourhood everyday in his white 'Kancil'(car) selling fresh foods from the wet market.  May Allah swt  Bless You Always Pakcik.

MY SARAWAK MEMORIES

As I lay down on the bed in the hotel room, I stared at the tree which was standing tall outside. It had many branches with small green leaves which covered most of the window panes. Somehow, the tree brought back fond childhood memories.  Years back, when Abah was posted to Kuching, we rented a bungalow situated by the roadside. During the day, I would sit at a window which was facing the main road and waited for the Chief Minister of Sarawak to pass as it was one of the main roads in Kuching. Thinking back, it was kind of funny because it had  become somewhat like a routine for me; as if there was nothing better to do ! Once in a while, I would slip out of the house and went to the nearest shopping complex just to do some browsing of goods! Lucky me, never once  was I caught in the act by my parents! Ha ! Ha! Naughty me!

Now, what I loved most about the house was being in the room  which I shared with my sisters. In my mind’s eye, I could still see it clearly. It was not a big room but it had  large glass windows facing the main road. There was an old  tree just outside the windows. It was a big tree and might have been there for a long time ; judging from its rough and bulky wood as well as its twisted and ‘aching’ roots. However, the tree was never a sore to my eyes.  Instead, the tree provided an enriching night experience for me. At night, before going to sleep, I would gaze at the stars which seemed like glittering lights between the tree branches. On certain nights, the tree was lit by a remarkable display of lights by a congregation of one of  God’s luminescent creatures; the fireflies. It was simply dazzling and offered the most and dearest peace. On rainy days, when it was too quiet and wet to have fun, I would sit beside the window and watch the raindrops falling softly onto the leaves. Sometimes, when the sky was clear, with no stars and glow-worms, I would just lie down, merely watching the tree branches moving gently in the cool night breeze and wondered about the future. Was the future going to be promising? Where would I be ten years from now ?  These thoughts would run through my head and put me to sleep.

Years have passed and  I have found answers to some of  my questions. Nevertheless, these memories will stay with me forever.

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The girl went to the office to see her teacher but she had gone home. So, she decided to just sit at the cubicle and complete some notes. As she was doing this, her mind was kept busy thinking about how to go on for another week with only Rm10.  Her thought was interrupted by  a familiar voice greeting her 'Hi there!' What are you doing at Miss Nisa's cubicle? Where is she by the way? " The girl was already smiling even before she turned around to look at the friendly teacher. “ Hi hi teacher ! Miss Nisa had gone home, thought  I’ll just stay here  for a while and complete some notes.” The conversation lasted for a few minutes before the teacher went off. After completing her work, the girl packed her things and was on her way out when she saw the teacher again. Much to her surprise, the teacher took her hand and gave her Rm50. The girl was puzzled and asked, 'Teacher, why are you giving me money? " The teacher merely smiled and said, “ No special reason. Just felt like it ". Tears filled the girl's eyes and she repeatedly thanked the teacher. The girl then left the office feeling so happy and relief. Alhamdulillah, God had answered her prayer.