HELLO

Each day is a gift... so full of opportunities.

Live each day to the fullest, make it the best day in your life.

Turn your vision and dreams into actions and

Do not forget to enjoy the journey.
( p.s. Taken from a postcard )

SEIZE THE DAY !

My daughter was listening to an old song of the 90s and looking outside. When the song ended, there was silence but she continued looking out of the window. Then, she turned to me and  said, ' Mom, it is so mind soothing listening to an old song. It takes you back into time. But, when the song stops, the melody lingers on ..and you will find yourself still wandering  the past...alone and feeling lonely..'

                                                                                                                      google pic

Pandangan saya tertarik kepada seorang ibu yang juga sedang menikmati juadah tengahari di restoran tersebut. Raut wajahnya nampak agak tertekan.  Mungkin ibu ini letih melayan karenah anak-anak yang ada bersamanya. Kesemuanya ada 3 orang.  Suaminya tidak pula kelihatan, cuma mereka anak beranak.  Keadaan tenang si ibu  mula terganggu apabila anak lelakinya yang  dalam lingkungan 5 tahun mula bermain dengan seliparnya. Dilambung-lambung sebelah seliparnya tinggi-tinggi dan dia nampak seronok bermain seorang diri.  Keadaan itu kiranya mengundang rasa tidak senang si ibu lantaran bimbang selipar anaknya itu akan terkena pelanggan lain.

Ibunya  mula memberi renungan tajam kepada si anak tetapi langsung tidak dipedulikan. Maka hilang lah kesabaran ibu ini. Saya lihat si ibu bangun dan terus merentap tangan anaknya lalu diheretnya anak kecil itu ke meja mereka. Si anak menjerit memberontak.  Beberapa minit kemudian si  ibu dilihat meluru kebelakang kedai dan kembali dengan anak tadi yang diheret dengan kasar ke meja sekali lagi. Kali ini si anak mula meraung sekuat hati. Ini berterusan buat seketika.

Peristiwa ini sangat meruntun perasaan saya kerana saya pernah mengalami kesukaran membesarkan anak. Anak saya yang pertama dan yang kedua sewaktu kecil selalu mengamuk dan menangis berjam lamanya. Entah berapa helai baju saya yang terkoyak akibat rentapan kuat mereka dan suami saya sendiri pernah jatuh terlentang sewaktu cuba menenangkan anak yang sulung akibat ditolak olehnya. Sofa di rumah rabak sana sini.. kerusi ,meja, mesin basuh   selalu berubah tempat akibat ditendang.. ini semua penangan amukan mereka. Kami selalu berfikir dua tiga kali jika mahu ke kedai kerana sudah begitu banyak insiden mengamuk mereka yang memalukan kami di luar. Pendek kata saya membesarkan mereka berdua dengan airmata.. Ada ketikanya saya mengganggap saya sudah gagal sebagai seorang ibu. Kalau di tempat kerja saya sering termenung memikirkan cara untuk mengatasi masalah ini.

Tetapi apa yang pasti, saya tidak pernah berputus asa dalam mendidik mereka. Saya berdoa setiap hari agar Allah swt membantu saya mendidik anak-anak saya ini agar mereka menjadi insan-insan yang solehah (anak-anak  saya ini perempuan)  Maka setiap hari saya bacakan yasin untuk mereka  dan saya kerapkan solat hajat dan taubat. Begitu lah rutin saya di waktu itu. Memang benar.. Allah itu Maha Pengasih  dan Maha Mengasihani. Perubahan yang ketara berlaku apabila mereka mula duduk di asrama. Semakin hari semakin elok perilaku mereka. Pada hari ini saya adalah seorang ibu yang sangat gembira kerana mempunyai anak-anak yang sangat baik hati dan menghormati saya dan suami. Percaya atau tidak, yang sulung pernah mendapat anugerah “Sahsiah terpuji” sewaktu dia di tingkatan lima dahulu! Alhamdulillah, kerana keputusan SPM yang cemerlang, dia berjaya melanjutkan pelajarannya ke di luar negara di bawah tajaan JPA-MARA. Yang kedua pula melanjutkan pelajarannya di sebuah kolej tajaan Mara. Alhamdulillah, si adik pula selalu membanggakan kami dengan keputusan peperiksaan yang sangat cemerlang beserta dianugerahkan sebagai pelajar terbaik untuk beberapa subjek pada setiap semester dan kemudiannya  melanjutkan pelajarannya ke luar negara di bawah tajaan MARA.  Begitu lah kisah saya dan anak-anak.

Cuma sedikit nasihat dari saya, banyak-banyakkan lah bersabar dalam membesarkan anak-anak walaupun mungkin ada ketikanya kita berasa seperti sudah berputus asa. Mereka lah harta kita dunia dan akhirat, amanah Allah swt yang tidak mungkin dapat ditukar ganti. Percaya lah, berkat kesabaran dan doa ibu bapa, mereka akan menjadi anak-anak yang sangat membanggakan kita satu hari nanti.

 

They threw many hurtful words at me. They even described me as a useless broken soul who worth nothing more than a penny. I did not blame them though. How could I when nobody was to be blamed except for myself. Now, everything had changed. Memories of the life that was once mine began to slowly unfold before my eyes as I walked through the lonely road.

At the age of 13, I was still the only child of the family. Imagine how wonderful my life was when I was always pampered by my parents and did not have to share anything with anyone. However, it was just a short lived happiness. One day, my parents came back with  news that left me crying for one whole day; my mom was three months pregnant! Everyone seemed to be looking forward to having this baby. Whenever relatives came for visits, the talk of the day would always be about the baby. Suddenly, I felt lonely. I chose to shy away when people come to my house. To add to my sadness, my parents did not seem to notice the change in me.

Finally, the day that I dreaded the most arrived. Sara was safely delivered into the world on the  April 2, 2000 at noon. She had small fingers, plump rosy cheeks, round dark eyes and very curly hair. She was simply adorable! Almost at an instant, I forgot about my true feelings for her. I told myself that maybe having her around would not be so bad after all. As days passed, I would try my best to be a good sister to her and a good daughter to my parents.

Therefore, whenever I could, I would help my mother with the household chores and took care of Sara. However, as days passed, all attention would always be on Sara. Whenever the family got together for lunch, dinner or just spending time together, Sara would always be the centre of attention. No matter how hard I tried, I would always be neglected or the one at fault when we had a fight. It went on and on until I could not take it anymore. I started to count on the days when I could get back at Sara and made her pay for all the misery I had to go through.

Finally, the day arrived. It was the day when Sara turned four. My mom wanted to bake a special cake for her. That was when I got an idea to play a trick on Sara. Dressed in my favourite brown  dress, I sneaked into the kitchen and hid under a table fully covered with a dark red table cloth. Hiding and waiting under the table was a torture but my plan must go on. When there was no one in the kitchen, I came out and sprayed the cake with insecticide. Then, I happily ran to Ina’s house and played with her until we fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was already dark. Uncle Sham, Ina’s father sent me home. When we reached the front door of my house, we heard no sound. No one answered when I pressed the doorbell. The lights were not switched on even though the cars were still in the garage. Curiosity got the better of me and I walked to the backyard. The door was left open! We tiptoed into the house as we did not know what to expect.

My heart stopped beating upon seeing a man lying motionless on the floor. Oh no! It was Dad and lying beside him was a beautiful woman whom I  called Mom. I rushed to them and called out for Sara. In tears I saw her lying face down near the door. There was white foam coming out of their mouths. Oh God! They were all poisoned! I went to the table where the cake was placed and saw a present with a small card on it. It was mom’s handwriting.

“My sweetheart, we just want you to know that there is nothing in this world that could ever replace you and Sara in our hearts. Happy birthday, my love.”

With love,

mom and dad.

My birthday was on the following week. My mom celebrated my birthday together with Sara’s. Perhaps that was why she baked a special cake. Seeing their lifeless bodies made me lose all my senses. Tears started pouring down my cheeks and my knees went weak. I collapsed to the ground. No more strength to even raise a hand. "It’s all my fault…, I killed them all.." was all that I could say. I laughed and laughed continuously.  I ran out of the house not knowing where to go.

Since then, I ‘remained’ in the same brown  dress , walking, talking, laughing, thinking about what I had done.

 

By :    NADHRAH BINTI SULAIMAN

         

Seperti yang diceritakan.

    Entah kenapa, pandanganku tertumpu pada seorang wanita yang agak lanjut usianya. Ku kira dalam lewat 70 an. Dia berjalan perlahan-lahan sambil melihat-lihat ke kiri dan kanan di celah-celah orangramai. Aku bagai didesak untuk menegurnya lalu ku hampiri wanita ini lantas ku beri salam. Assalamualaikum makcik. Terkejut rupanya dia dengan salamku. Hampir sahaja dia terlanggar pintu sebuah kereta yang sedang terbuka. Berulang kali dia beristighfar dan berulang kali juga aku meminta maaf darinya.. ternyata wanita ini bukan jenis yang cepat melenting. Sambil mengurut dadanya dia tersenyum dan berkata, tak mengapa nak.. 

    Aku lantas memimpinnya ke sebuah bangku yang berhampiran. Kelihatan wanita ini agak lega dan terus dia bertanya padaku, Anak kenal makcik ke? Tidak makcik, jawabku.. Saya cuma ingin bertanya makcik hendak ke mana sorang-sorang di tengah bandar ni..Oo.. begitu.. ingatkan apa tadi..sambil matanya memandang ke arah orang ramai yang lalu lalang di hadapan kami. Tak de apa lah nak. Makcik nak beli mainan untuk cucu makcik. Dah lama makcik tak jumpa dia walaupun rumah dia tak jauh mana dari rumah makcik. Macam dari sini ke situ.. tangannya menunjuk ke arah sebuah gerai yang hanya beberapa meter sahaja jaraknya dari tempat kami duduk. Sibuk kut...aku cuba memberikan alasan. Sibuk apa kut nak, baru sekolah rendah.. mata makcik tadi sudah mulai berair...  entah lah.. dari lahir makcik jaga sampai masuk sekolah. Ada masanya makcik yang hantar ke sekolah dan sekolah kafa.. ari tu dia ada datang ke rumah makcik antar barang..tapi tak nak masuk.. dia jenguk2 dari pintu je..walhal rumah makcik tu la tempat dia bermain- main dulu..dan kali ini airmatanya mengalir laju..

    Aku terdiam dan pada waktu yang sama cuba menahan airmataku dari meleleh. Sambil mengesat airmatanya, wanita yang telah separuh abad ni menambah, bila dah beli mainan nanti, boleh lah makcik talipon dia.. bagitahu makcik belikan dia mainan. Mesti dia datang rumah makcik kan. Aku cuma mengganguk kerana aku sudah tidak mampu berkata apa-apa lagi kerana terlampau sebak. Dalam pada itu, terpacul di fikiranku tentang ibu bapa cucu wanita ini. Mengapa mereka membiarkan perkara ini berlaku ? Wanita ini seolah-olah boleh membaca fikiranku. Anak makcik, ibu cucu ni dah dua tahun meninggal dunia. Tak sampai 8 bulan selepas dia meninggal, suaminya pun kahwin lain. Seolah-olah... ayatnya tergantung di situ dan diganti oleh esakan tangisan yang hiba. Dia seolah-olah tidak peduli akan renungan orangramai yang lalu lalang. 

    Aku tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa melainkan terus menahan sebak. Sebaik sahaja perasaannya kembali tenang, wanita tersebut meminta diri. Aku cuma mengangguk lemah tanpa berkata apa-apa dan turut beredar. Setelah aku berada di dalam kereta, barulah kulepaskan sebak di dada. Dalam pada itu timbul rasa kesal kerana tidak menghulurkan apa-apa bantuan kepada wanita tersebut. Aku hanya membiarkan dia berlalu pergi begitu sahaja.Teruknya aku.. Moga Allah swt akan mengembalikan kasih sayang yang hilang itu kepada wanita tersebut. Aamiin...

I thought my car needed a shower so I went to a nearby car wash shop. As I was getting out of the car, I felt sprays of water all over me. I was a bit surprised, so I looked up at the sky for signs of rain. None. Then, I heard someone saying Sorry a few times. It was actually one of the car wash workers who had accidentally sprayed the water at me while washing another car ! I was not a bit angry though. Why should I? He did not do it on purpose and furthermore, they were just sprinkles of water ! That poor guy was feeling so guilty about it that he kept on  saying sorry to me until the car was done !

Sometimes,  doing  things impulsively is better than doing nothing at all!

My daughter met a girl who was also sponsored by the same agency. The difference was that she was studying locally. The story went on with the girl asking my daughter about the monthly allowance given by the agency.

" What are you getting?" 

" 800."

" Hmm.. just 800.. seems like we're getting more than you, 1000." 

What the girl failed to realise was that the 800 was in USD and not in RM....

Aduiiiii...

THE PRETENDERS

       It was pretty obvious that they were all trying very hard to keep along. I did not blame them as I had been talking for almost one and a half hours and it seemed like they could not take it anymore. However, I just had to go on as that was the last two-hour meeting with them before their big exam. I knew I had to do something to keep them with me so I stopped teaching, clapped my hands loudly and said, " You guys are pretending, aren't you?  You are sleepy but somehow you still bear with me. Congratulations!! You guys are very good pretenders!!" 

       That somehow helped them to keep up just a little bit longer. But what do you know, a few minutes later, I began to feel tired and sleepy! The students could clearly see this as I had mistakenly said one thing when I actually meant another. Thus, I said sorry and I might have blushed as well.. Guess what, one of the students calmly said, " Madam, it' s ok to pretend.."

Snapshots at SHAH Pekan

She came back to the class looking confused. Noticing this, I stopped talking and asked," What' s wrong  girl ?" . "Madam, I had mistakenly gone into the boys' toilet," came the faint reply and sent us off laughing. My, my..

Later that day, I wrote something for her just to help clear her "confusion" and posted it in the class WhatsApp group.

So the story goes with you telling your grandchildren about your love story...

It happened a long time ago.. When I was doing my foundation course in KMPh. One day, I asked for an excuse to go to the rest room . I only knew that I was in the wrong room when I noticed the masculine odor !! As I was about to rush myself out, I bumped into a very charming, handsome looking boy. For a few seconds, our eyes locked. To describe things better, he is now your Grandfather. It was indeed love at first sight.. and the best part is;  it happened in the BOYS' TOILET.. The end.

SUDU

I loved to call my son with this manja name " sudu" (spoon). His name is of course a much better one. So there I was "spooning" him everyday until one day...
We were travelling home when I asked him, " So Sudu, if the teacher asks for your name, what should you say?
I prompted him by saying,
" Muhammad..."
" Suduuuuuuu..." came his cheerful and innocent reply ! OMG!!

       I watched the lady with deep interest. Something about her caught my attention. She was average height with a slim body and looking rather sweet in a t-shirt and long skirt. My wild guess was this woman was in early fifties but somehow she did not look her age. It was in the way she carried herself around people that made things just different about her.
       So there I was listening to this charming lady talking to the owner of the food stall who happened to be her friend. It was like listening to a girl sharing a story with another friend as she had this soft and chiming voice which was very clear and articulate. Now and then, she would cover her mouth when she giggled, just like some young girls love to do. It seemed to me that she was embracing her feminity in a kind of traditional and gentle girlish way which I found very enchanting. 
       It was only when she finally sat at the table to enjoy her meal that I looked away...

I met her at the airport on the day my eldest daughter left for Wisconsin. Even from the first meeting I knew that this woman had a big heart. She greeted me with  kind and humble words while struggling in her wheel chair to give me a hug. As days passed, I became to know Kak Teh better. I learned later that she was suffering from an illness. It's hard to explain;  shall we just say caused by someone who resorted to evil and malicious practices to make her suffer. Despite her worsening condition, she dropped by my office a few times to say hello. In our conversations, she often expressed her fear of not having the chance to see her daughter again. Every time she did, my eyes would become teary.

Then , it happened.

Kak Teh passed away on a rainy Friday morning on January 27, 2017 and just as she had feared, her daughter did not get to see her for the last time...

     It was a Sunday and just like any other days when we visited adik, we would stop at a nearby mosque to perform solah Asar. At the mosque, I decided to ease myself first and quickly went to the restroom. A woman's voice caught my ear as I entered the restroom. I was expecting to see a woman nagging her child but to my surprise, I saw a woman lying on her side on the wet floor! Upon seeing me, she greeted me cheerfully, "Hi Kak!" So I said "Hi there!" and looked around hoping to see someone with her. She ignored my wandering eyes and continued talking to someone in the cubicle but I saw no one there. I began to feel very uneasy but I brushed it off as the urge was building up! I quickly went into a cubicle and all the while she went on talking to that "someone". At times, I heard her shouting and cursing. I was beginning to feel even more uneasy then but I had to overcome my fear as I needed to get out of the cubicle.  

    The worst part was, to get out I had to pass her again! At that point, I was feeling so scared but I did not want to get stuck to that seemingly crazy woman either! So, after reciting a quick prayer, I opened the cubicle door slowly and dashed out! That woman was still talking to that empty cubicle but stopped short when she saw me. OMG! I thought that she was going to jump onto me or something but there again she cheerfully said, "Goodbye kak!" I did not say a word nor look back at all and ran all the way into the mosque. Fuhhhh... what a relief! 
Well, you have guessed correctly ! That was the last time I prayed at that mosque!

The weather is just perfect! Hot but very windy; just right for me! Woooohuuu! I'm having the time of my life ! Enjoying this one week break just by lazing around the hotel ... enjoying the food, watching people, sitting alone and toying with my gadgets... wow! Not just a perfect weather but this is indeed a perfect vacation!!

  

Another interesting recipe was posted in the noxxa wasap group and I decided to try it out. On the way home, I looked for everything needed to make a yummy "mee siam" at a Mamak grocery shop. Yes, found everything except for Kuchai leaves.   Actually, it was rather embarassing but I really could not differentiate between these leaves  and leeks. So before paying up, I sheepishly asked, " Bro, selling Kuchai leaves?" "Yea, it's right there, " and he pointed at a shelf lined with all sorts of vegetables. Since I did not know which one he was pointing at, my ego replied loudly, " On second thought,  thanks but no thanks. I ’ll buy some other time!" And I thought that was it. But, what do you know!! He asked another worker to get one stack from the fridge thinking that I wanted a fresher one! Hahaha..little did he know of my nescience !  So, at the end of the day, a lady was saved from being exposed as inerudite person ! 

My daughter is still using the purse..much to my surprise. It took me back to the day when she bought the purse from a cart retailer at a bus terminal. It was one of those many small-footprint retailers that would appear unattractive and underclass by some people.For some reasons, my daughter shopped for a purse at one of these stalls. She however could not forget the look on the man's face as he handed the purse to her. He looked into my daughter's eyes and appreciatively said thank you. Even though he did not express it in words, his broad smile also seemed to say, Girl, you have really made my day..

dreamstime.com

I had never really paid attention to stories on betrayal before.. not until it happened in the family. Whenever I think of the things he did to you, hatred seemed just the right word to describe my feelings. Can we ever forgive him? Does he deserve to be forgiven? After what he did to you, all  these years.. those years that you had lived through in pain and tears. You were never at peace since he fell for another woman.. you were betrayed by a man that you loved so much. The day you appeared at my doorsteps crying your heart out is still a vivid memory. You were almost drowned in your own tears. I had never seen you so emotionally pained in my entire life. The deep love, trust and loyalty that had survived the tests of time were nothing more than a family tale to him. ..now that you re gone,  the man you loved is still hurting you. It was not even a year... not even 8 months that you were gone, he had settled down again. A big reception so I heard...ooh yes, we were so invited! At first I felt like going so that I could shout out loud to the world things he had done to you. The temptation was so huge but I was still sane enough to haul myself out of the idea. Today, even though I am not as bitter as the days before, I still cannot bring myself to mention his name or address him as my X BIL. 

Among the best moments of my life was on one night while performing solah hajat..The moment my head touched the sejadah, I heard the sounds  of raindrops falling...

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