THE PRETENDERS

       It was pretty obvious that they were all trying very hard to keep along. I did not blame them as I had been talking for almost one and a half hours and it seemed like they could not take it anymore. However, I just had to go on as that was the last two-hour meeting with them before their big exam. I knew I had to do something to keep them with me so I stopped teaching, clapped my hands loudly and said, " You guys are pretending, aren't you?  You are sleepy but somehow you still bear with me. Congratulations!! You guys are very good pretenders!!" 

       That somehow helped them to keep up just a little bit longer. But what do you know, a few minutes later, I began to feel tired and sleepy! The students could clearly see this as I had mistakenly said one thing when I actually meant another. Thus, I said sorry and I might have blushed as well.. Guess what, one of the students calmly said, " Madam, it' s ok to pretend.."

Snapshots at SHAH Pekan

She came back to the class looking confused. Noticing this, I stopped talking and asked," What' s wrong  girl ?" . "Madam, I had mistakenly gone into the boys' toilet," came the faint reply and sent us off laughing. My, my..

Later that day, I wrote something for her just to help clear her "confusion" and posted it in the class WhatsApp group.

So the story goes with you telling your grandchildren about your love story...

It happened a long time ago.. When I was doing my foundation course in KMPh. One day, I asked for an excuse to go to the rest room . I only knew that I was in the wrong room when I noticed the masculine odor !! As I was about to rush myself out, I bumped into a very charming, handsome looking boy. For a few seconds, our eyes locked. To describe things better, he is now your Grandfather. It was indeed love at first sight.. and the best part is;  it happened in the BOYS' TOILET.. The end.

SUDU

I loved to call my son with this manja name " sudu" (spoon). His name is of course a much better one. So there I was "spooning" him everyday until one day...
We were travelling home when I asked him, " So Sudu, if the teacher asks for your name, what should you say?
I prompted him by saying,
" Muhammad..."
" Suduuuuuuu..." came his cheerful and innocent reply ! OMG!!

       I watched the lady with deep interest. Something about her caught my attention. She was average height with a slim body and looking rather sweet in a t-shirt and long skirt. My wild guess was this woman was in early fifties but somehow she did not look her age. It was in the way she carried herself around people that made things just different about her.
       So there I was listening to this charming lady talking to the owner of the food stall who happened to be her friend. It was like listening to a girl sharing a story with another friend as she had this soft and chiming voice which was very clear and articulate. Now and then, she would cover her mouth when she giggled, just like some young girls love to do. It seemed to me that she was embracing her feminity in a kind of traditional and gentle girlish way which I found very enchanting. 
       It was only when she finally sat at the table to enjoy her meal that I looked away...

I met her at the airport on the day my eldest daughter left for Wisconsin. Even from the first meeting I knew that this woman had a big heart. She greeted me with  kind and humble words while struggling in her wheel chair to give me a hug. As days passed, I became to know Kak Teh better. I learned later that she was suffering from an illness. It's hard to explain;  shall we just say caused by someone who resorted to evil and malicious practices to make her suffer. Despite her worsening condition, she dropped by my office a few times to say hello. In our conversations, she often expressed her fear of not having the chance to see her daughter again. Every time she did, my eyes would become teary.

Then , it happened.

Kak Teh passed away on a rainy Friday morning on January 27, 2017 and just as she had feared, her daughter did not get to see her for the last time...

     It was a Sunday and just like any other days when we visited adik, we would stop at a nearby mosque to perform solah Asar. At the mosque, I decided to ease myself first and quickly went to the restroom. A woman's voice caught my ear as I entered the restroom. I was expecting to see a woman nagging her child but to my surprise, I saw a woman lying on her side on the wet floor! Upon seeing me, she greeted me cheerfully, "Hi Kak!" So I said "Hi there!" and looked around hoping to see someone with her. She ignored my wandering eyes and continued talking to someone in the cubicle but I saw no one there. I began to feel very uneasy but I brushed it off as the urge was building up! I quickly went into a cubicle and all the while she went on talking to that "someone". At times, I heard her shouting and cursing. I was beginning to feel even more uneasy then but I had to overcome my fear as I needed to get out of the cubicle.  

    The worst part was, to get out I had to pass her again! At that point, I was feeling so scared but I did not want to get stuck to that seemingly crazy woman either! So, after reciting a quick prayer, I opened the cubicle door slowly and dashed out! That woman was still talking to that empty cubicle but stopped short when she saw me. OMG! I thought that she was going to jump onto me or something but there again she cheerfully said, "Goodbye kak!" I did not say a word nor look back at all and ran all the way into the mosque. Fuhhhh... what a relief! 
Well, you have guessed correctly ! That was the last time I prayed at that mosque!

The weather is just perfect! Hot but very windy; just right for me! Woooohuuu! I'm having the time of my life ! Enjoying this one week break just by lazing around the hotel ... enjoying the food, watching people, sitting alone and toying with my gadgets... wow! Not just a perfect weather but this is indeed a perfect vacation!!

  

Another interesting recipe was posted in the noxxa wasap group and I decided to try it out. On the way home, I looked for everything needed to make a yummy "mee siam" at a Mamak grocery shop. Yes, found everything except for Kuchai leaves.   Actually, it was rather embarassing but I really could not differentiate between these leaves  and leeks. So before paying up, I sheepishly asked, " Bro, selling Kuchai leaves?" "Yea, it's right there, " and he pointed at a shelf lined with all sorts of vegetables. Since I did not know which one he was pointing at, my ego replied loudly, " On second thought,  thanks but no thanks. I ’ll buy some other time!" And I thought that was it. But, what do you know!! He asked another worker to get one stack from the fridge thinking that I wanted a fresher one! Hahaha..little did he know of my nescience !  So, at the end of the day, a lady was saved from being exposed as inerudite person ! 

My daughter is still using the purse..much to my surprise. It took me back to the day when she bought the purse from a cart retailer at a bus terminal. It was one of those many small-footprint retailers that would appear unattractive and underclass by some people.For some reasons, my daughter shopped for a purse at one of these stalls. She however could not forget the look on the man's face as he handed the purse to her. He looked into my daughter's eyes and appreciatively said thank you. Even though he did not express it in words, his broad smile also seemed to say, Girl, you have really made my day..

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I had never really paid attention to stories on betrayal before.. not until it happened in the family. Whenever I think of the things he did to you, hatred seemed just the right word to describe my feelings. Can we ever forgive him? Does he deserve to be forgiven? After what he did to you, all  these years.. those years that you had lived through in pain and tears. You were never at peace since he fell for another woman.. you were betrayed by a man that you loved so much. The day you appeared at my doorsteps crying your heart out is still a vivid memory. You were almost drowned in your own tears. I had never seen you so emotionally pained in my entire life. The deep love, trust and loyalty that had survived the tests of time were nothing more than a family tale to him. ..now that you re gone,  the man you loved is still hurting you. It was not even a year... not even 8 months that you were gone, he had settled down again. A big reception so I heard...ooh yes, we were so invited! At first I felt like going so that I could shout out loud to the world things he had done to you. The temptation was so huge but I was still sane enough to haul myself out of the idea. Today, even though I am not as bitter as the days before, I still cannot bring myself to mention his name or address him as my X BIL. 

Among the best moments of my life was on one night while performing solah hajat..The moment my head touched the sejadah, I heard the sounds  of raindrops falling...

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